Deep breaths and peppermint tea
by Shannen 1
Summary: Sybil is pregnant while at Downton but she doesn't want to tell her family yet so she is trying to hide being sick. This is my story for the Tom/Sybil secret valentine exchange- this is for Hazy Days.


**So here is my story for Hazy Days, the prompt was; Sybil is pregnant while at Downton but she doesn't want to tell her family yet so she is trying to hide being sick. I've set this in a modern slightly AU, Tom is a freelance journalist and Sybil has only just become a midwife.**

**Thank you to the wonderful Yankee Countess for beta'ing this for me.**

* * *

Sybil groaned as she gently closed the toilet lid and with her other hand, pressed down the button to flush it. She was extremely tired, and all she really wanted to do was climb back into bed and stay there the rest of the day.

But right now, she didn't dare move; she had spent the last 30 minutes on the bathroom floor, hunched over the toilet bowl either being sick, or waiting to be sick. She leaned down, resting the side of her face against the lid, relishing the feel of the cool plastic against her face, and closed her eyes and waited for her nausea to let up.

Feeling her stomach settling down, Sybil decided to tempt fate and slowly rose from the floor, easing herself up to sit on the toilet. She allowed herself a moment to adjust before slowly rising to her feet, pushing her tangled hair away from her face, and began brushing her teeth.

She let out a frustrated groan when she caught her reflection in the mirror; her skin was a pasty white, she had dark circles under her eyes, and the fatigue she was feeling showed on her face. Slowly, she stopped brushing her teeth and her gaze fell to her still flat stomach. Pushing up her cami, she let her fingers sweep across the taunt skin before coming to a halt just below her belly button. It was still hard to imagine that below her skin, a small life had begun to grow, a perfect mix of the two of them.

Feeling overwhelmed, Sybil put the toothbrush down and crawled back under the duvet and instinctively her hand fell to her stomach again.

All of this was too soon; she and Tom had only been dating for six months, and though they were more or less living together for the past four, the conversations about the future and a family had been very few. How would Tom react to her news? Would he want to have a child so early in their relationship? For the first time this weekend, she was glad that he was away and that she wouldn't see him until tomorrow evening. She needed time to figure out how she felt about this news.

The timing wasn't good, she had just started her job as a midwife and she had always wanted to spend some time with "MSF", but packing up and spending several months in a developing country didn't seem compatible with having a baby. Sybil reached over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand and pressed the "home button", and a picture of her and Tom pressed close together while both of them pouted their lips, appeared on the screen. She started a text but changed her mind, and put the phone back down and snuggled further down under her duvet and let sleep overtake her.

* * *

The constant sound of knocking pulled her from her sleep, and she sat up and looked around the room in confusion, unsure where and what time it was. "Sybil darling, are you up?" the gentle voice of her mother brought her back to reality before she had a chance to speak. Cora slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside the room. She quietly made her way over to the window and pulled back the curtains. "You father and I thought you were coming down for breakfast?"

Sybil pushed the tangled mess that was her hair away from her face and blinked at the bright light streaming through the windows. "I'm sorry mama; I just really needed a lie in."

Cora frowned, crossing the room and taking a seat on Sybil's bed. "You work too hard."

Sybil sighed; she really didn't want to have this conversation again. Ever since she had turned down the offer from a family friend to work at a private clinic, her mother raised the topic every time they spoke. "Not again mama"

Cora tilted her head slightly, and moved her hand across the duvet, reaching for Sybil's hand. "Are you feeling alright darling? You look a little pale."

Sybil felt her stomach starting to turn over, the nausea starting to build, and she fought the urge to cover her mouth and run back into the bathroom. Focusing on her breath, she hoped that her face didn't give her away. "I'm fine, really mama"

Cora frowned. "Has something happened between you and Tom?"

Sybil groaned. "Tom had to work; he's in Brussels, that's why he couldn't come up this weekend."

Sensing she wasn't getting anywhere, Cora nodded and got up off the bed and walked toward the door, Sybil following her every move, wishing she would move a little faster so she could take refuges in the bathroom.

Cora pulled open the door and Sybil slowly moved to the edge of the bed but she stopped moving when Cora turned and looked back at her. "I'll ask Mrs. Patmore to make you some breakfast."

Sybil managed a smile and a weak nod that Cora accepted, and as soon as the door closed behind her, Sybil bolted out of bed and clung to the toilet.

* * *

Sybil had felt nauseas all day and had spent most of it trying to avoid her mother. She feared that Cora would figure out that she was hiding something and she wasn't ready to share the news with her family. But with Matthew and Mary and Edith and Anthony arriving shortly, she needed to be present, and while waiting for them, she had sought refuge in the library, curled up under a blanket with her favourite book. She had managed to eat some crackers and drink some peppermint tea which had been placed in front of her with a knowing look but without a comment by Mrs. Hughes. She was drained from energy and dreaded her father's birthday dinner later that day. Not only would Granny be there, but among other guests would be Larry Grey. The thought of being forced to sit next to Larry for an entire dinner seemed overwhelming and almost made her wish that she had been called into work. But no such luck, so now all she could do was hope that her stomach would stay calm, and that she could get through this night without her secret coming out.

The sound of the door bell followed by the high pitch wail of baby George announced the arrival of Mary and her family. The desperation in Mary's voice drew her into the foyer where she found her sister standing with George on her hips, while Carson was helping her with her coat. Mary looked up, her eyes pleading for help and smiling nervously, "oh Sybil darling, please help me."

Sybil hurried to aid her sister who held her young son straight out from her body. Sybil went to pull him into her arms, when Mary stopped her. "He got car sick and Matthew is cleaning the car." Sybil mimicked her sister's way of holding George until Mary had freed him from his hat and jacket, before turning and placing him on her hip.

Sybil gently swayed from side to side and pressed a few gentle kiss against George's soft hair, and the little boy settled down and turned his attention to the print on Sybil's top. Mary sighed in relief as she leaned in and kissed Sybil's cheek. "You will not believe the day we've had; he has been right mood." Mary pulled back and checked her appearance in the mirror " You're so good with him; maybe we should hire you to be his nanny?"

Sybil pulled a face, earning her a giggle from baby George. "You couldn't afford me."

Having George in her arms made her wonder about the child she was carrying. Suddenly George seemed very heavy, and she switched him to her other hip. The thought of being a mother overwhelmed her, and she desperately needed to speak to Tom; she wanted Mary to take her son back so she could go back upstairs and call him.

"Mary!" Cora's voice filled the foyer as she walked down the stairs, and Sybil knew that help was on the way and she didn't give her mother and sister a chance to say hello, before she handed George off to her mother and hurried up the stairs without a word. Mary looked confused, and turned to her mother, but Cora shrugged her shoulders, looking equally confused.

* * *

Sybil pushed the food around her plate. She had actually enjoyed the first course and had been able to keep it down without any problems. She had even managed not to lose her temper with Larry, despite his constant bragging about how well his investments had paid off. But all of this had changed when the main course had been served, and the scent of onions made her stomach turn. The muffled dinner conversations suddenly seemed like an extreme buzzing in her ears. Her hands were clammy and her vision had turned blurry. She slowly reached for her water glass and with shaking hands, brought it to her lips, convinced that everybody was looking at her. She closed her eyes and gulped down the water, the cool liquid slowly bringing her back. Her stomach was still twisting, but at least she didn't feel like she was going faint.

She took a couple of deep breaths, put her cutlery down, and leaned back in her chair, feeling herself relax and was sure she could make it through dinner.

Sybil felt Larry leaning towards her, felt him brush against her shoulder, and she leaned a little to the other side but he didn't seem to notice. "It's good to see you're trying to keep your weight down."

She turned and stared at him with complete disbelief. As hard as she tried, the words just wouldn't come.

Larry threw a glance at her full plate and whispered, "you've filled out since I saw you last."

As he spoke, Sybil could smell the onions again, and waves of nausea washed over her and gone was any notion of "putting him in his place". She fighting a losing battle of keeping her food down and as she opened her mouth to tell him to piss off, she felt the vomit rise in her throat and she jumped from her seat and with her hand across her mouth, she ran out of the room. She knew she would never make it to the bathroom and she ended up emptying her stomach into a nearby flower pot. Feeling confident that she wasn't going to be sick again she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and hurried upstairs.

Sybil slumped down on her bathroom floor, leaning against the closed door with her legs stretch out in front of her. She really needed a shower, there was vomit on her dress and she knew that it was only a matter of time before her mother or sisters would come knocking on the door. She felt much better after her shower, the nausea was gone, but she was tired. She checked her phone and saw that she had missed two calls from Tom. There were no messages and when she tried to call him back, he didn't answer. She crawled into bed and fell asleep to the sound of car tires on the gravel, just as she had done when she was a little girl.

* * *

Tom was relieved to be home again, even if he had only been away for four days. He missed Sybil and hated that they had barely had a chance to speak while he was away. Dropping his bag by the door, he could hear the TV, so he assumed she was up. "Syb?"

There was no answer.

He found her fast asleep on the sofa in his ratty rugby shirt and her hair covering most of her face. He sat down on the sofa and gently swept her hair away, hoping that she would sense his presence and wake up, but she was out cold. Tom turned off the TV and very carefully lifted Sybil up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. She barely stirred when he put her down or when he pulled the duvet around her.

* * *

Sybil sat up and looked around their bedroom; how had she ended up here? The last thing she remembered was watching TV on the sofa. "Tom?" She could hear the shower and hurried into the bathroom, pulling the shower curtain back. "Tom!"

Tom practically jumped out of his skin. "Feck Syb, you scared me!"

"I'm sorry, when did you get here?"

Tom turned off the water and grabbed the towel and dried himself off. He wrapped the towel around his waist before pulling her into his arms. "Not too long ago; I thought you were sleeping?"

Sybil wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. "I missed you."

Tom smiled against her lips. "I missed you too. So how was your weekend?"

Sybil let her hands glide down his shoulders and arms before wrapping them tightly around his waist and inhaling the scent of his shower fresh skin. Tom could feel the tension in her body "Come on, it couldn't have been that bad." Sybil didn't answer she just tightened her hold on him. Tom bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Syb please, tell me."

Sybil turned in his arms and slowly raised her eyes to meet his. "I'm pregnant."

Tom's eyes widened slightly, and he opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out.

"I know we haven't really discussed the future and I know it might be too soon and..."

Before she had the chance to continue, Tom lifted her into his arms and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist "A baby?" Sybil nodded. Tom ran his fingers through her hair, studying her face like he had done the first time they made love, and he gently pressed his lips against hers and whispered, "I love you."

As they snuggled up in bed, Tom couldn't seem to keep his hands of her stomach. "You do realise that your father is going to hate me even more now that I've gotten you up the duff."

Sybil snuggled closer to Tom, letting her hand rest on top of his. "I don't care what he thinks; I care about you, me, and our baby."


End file.
